Mary as Person: Which Is Still Pretty Magical
Advent Devotion by Rev. Debra McKnight
Luke 2:41-50
I love this image of Mary. She is real, full of joyful relief and a touch of rage at finding tween Jesus. This Mary is never enshrined in stained-glass windows or lifted up in high art. There is no cathedral named Our Lady of Teen Mom. The Mary of art and culture is perfect, like superhuman perfect: her skin, no matter the hue, is without bump or blemish and she has zero need for the anti-acne, anti-wrinkle moisturizer. We most often see her after giving birth in a manger, yet there is no mess, not one hair out of place. There seem to be no hormones out of balance or worry or anything but her being calm, cool and collected … even when a kid with a drum shows up to solo. The images of Mary make her not only the Queen of Heaven, but the queen of breastfeeding … that baby clearly latches right away, there are no lactation consultants and she is never vomiting from mastitis. Mary is so perfect that I feel like we don’t even know her, at least not the way she actually shows up in scripture. In scripture she speaks up, shows up, asks questions, looks you in the eye and is a badass mama raising her kids.
In this story Mary the Perfect Mother forgets her child in Jerusalem. They leave town … it's not like they forgot to pick him up from soccer practice. They travel a whole day before the ‘Mom Senses’ must perk up in Mary and she and Joseph begin searching for Jesus among their family and friends. To be fair to Mary, Jesus has some autonomy, it’s not like an ancient Home Alone; Jesus stays behind. And then Jesus survives, his Mom finding him after days of travel and searching (an underrated miracle for sure.)
This Mary shows up and has the courage to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. She is likely filled with relief and rage; and tween Jesus should probably just be quiet. I love this Mary. She is all human and all sacred at the same time. But somehow this Mary isn’t the Mary we see most often.
At the core of this transformation, I believe, is how we have come to understand the “Virgin Birth.”
This language emerges from a context, which is not ours and not even really the same as the early church fathers. A passage from Isaiah about a maiden or young woman birthing a leader was translated into the Greek understanding of virgin,which we take to be all about the body and the onset of sexual activity. But that’s a holistic understanding, “virgin” carries a richer understanding of Mary as a Woman Belonging to HERSELF. That’s right, a woman belonging to herself. It matters because most women even today don’t belong to themselves. They belong to a father’s house or a husband’s household, but not Mary. That’s why the Angel can ask her for consent, because she is in charge of her own body. She has a choice.
Mary’s story is shared in a rich and diverse religious landscape. Athena is a virgin goddess, she belongs to herself. And the story of Mary and Jesus leans into the language of the context. Other leaders of the day have divine involvement in their births; God enfleshed, or a child born of divine and human substance is not really strange … There are many God-Kings and special births. It’s just that they don’t usually happen to peasants.
Fast forward a few hundred years and the Western Church, caught up in the debates of male leaders who couldn’t quite manage their sexuality, began developing what Suzzy Eddie Izzard rightly calls, “a hellish idea”: ORIGINAL SIN. The more church leaders worry about original sin, the more they worry about Jesus being touched by it. Then their only salvation becomes Mary’s virginity and not in the “woman belonging to herself” sense. The science of that day made women out to be more like incubators, fancy ones that can walk and do laundry but they don’t contribute to the baby they birth, at least not genetically. So the Virgin Birth becomes essential and let me tell you they are really obsessed with Mary’s magical anatomy. Later as patriarchal science caught up to what Grandma already knew, Mary had to contribute to Jesus and the doctrine of Mary’s immaculate conception became official in 1854.
Why such an effort to keep Mary a virgin (in a literal, physical sense and not in the “woman belonging to herself” sense)? I believe there are twin reasons. The first is the Church’s continual efforts to keep women in their place, a place where they don’t belong to themselves and they don’t have a voice or choice. Mary presents an image of faith that shows women to be present at everything, giving of themselves, even their bodies and never saying a word. Mary has no voice and no choice in the Patriarchy.
The second reason we pick the BVM over Mary is because her humanity is what scares us the most. If she is human and Jesus is human, we are more accountable to live like they did. And that is terrifying. It’s so much easier to imagine them as superhuman because if we actually have to live into God’s dream, it's risky and dangerous. Faith puts you at odds with powerful people, and they will use their power to silence you, just like they did to Mary.
Mary was blessed to be a blessing long before 2000 years of theological mansplaining made her the modest mantel piece. She had both a choice and a voice and she used it. And she is more powerful when she is real; all human and all sacred. Her power is in saying, “Yes” to the hard work and showing up with grit and grace. She is the Blessed Virgin Mary and not because she has magical anatomy but because she is a miracle of humanity, showing us what it means to live.
May we have the courage to be human just like Mary. Amen
REV. DEBRA MCKNIGHT, M.ED., M.DIV.
is the Founding Pastor of Urban Abbey, a United Methodist coffee shop, bookstore, and church in downtown Omaha. She is a graduate of Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University. During an era when mainline protestant churches in the US are on the decline, Urban Abbey has grown since 2011. Urban Abbey's work has received both threats and awards, and she couldn’t be more proud of this justice-seeking community that makes plenty of time for whimsy. She lives in Omaha with her sweet husband and daughter.